things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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