i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
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