you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
