That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize
