if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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