...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Randomize
