I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
