I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
