There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
