I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
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Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
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TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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