Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
