awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
