i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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