Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
