just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
