I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
