I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Randomize
