On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
