So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
