I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Randomize
