Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
