So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
