The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
