It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
how drunk are you?
Several
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize