Im at strip club and am horny
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you