Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
