your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
