I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
either way he was missing a nipple.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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