She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
