Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize