dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
you would pick up someone in the library
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
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I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize