I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
It all started with a game of naked twister.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
