I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
