I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Randomize
