lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I think people are normalizing furries
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
