Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
