I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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