i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
this boner is exhausting
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
