Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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