He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
