I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
