i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Randomize
