She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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