it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
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we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
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Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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