every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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