she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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