Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
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