forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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