forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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