Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night