I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
