ADVERTISEMENT

• (564): View more from Washington

  I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.

  Fav 9 5805 1250

  share tweet
  

• (585): View more from New York

  with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible

  Fav 8 4414 1787

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (720): View more from Colorado

  Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.

  Fav 7 6542 1189

  share tweet
  

• (727): View more from Florida

  This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.

  Fav 3 1620 1054

  share tweet
  
• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (407): View more from Florida

  Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.

  Fav 4 882 1564

  share tweet
  

• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms

  Fav 10 1482 958

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (512): View more from Texas

  Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.

  Fav 7 1051 1538

  share tweet
  

• (732): View more from New Jersey

  Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.

  Fav 4 1095 641

  share tweet
  

• (718): View more from New York

  He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?

  Fav 3 1035 649

  share tweet
  
• 

  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (937): View more from Ohio

  I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.

  Fav 2 569 812

  share tweet
  

• (863): View more from Florida

  I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.

  Fav 2 1082 522

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (707): View more from California

  He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb

  Fav 1 591 230

  share tweet
  

• (207): View more from Maine

  Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?

  Fav 1 735 220

  share tweet
  

• (917): View more from New York City

  I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.

  Fav 0 53 15

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??

  Fav 2 29 39

  share tweet
  

Randomize