I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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