Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Randomize
