Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Do you have swine flu?

(1-202): View more from Washington, DC

I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.

(1-202): View more from Washington, DC

Pigs, yes. Swine, no.

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(202): Do you have swine flu? (1-202): I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine. (1-202): Pigs, yes. Swine, no. http://tfl.nu/dq8y

Replies (1) Good night (650) Bad night (944)
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(703): View more from Virginia

grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it

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(703): grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it http://tfl.nu/pj49

Replies (28) Good night (824) Bad night (3954)
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(943): View more from

You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka

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(943): You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka http://tfl.nu/wlgo

Replies (10) Good night (5518) Bad night (940)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket

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(615): i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket http://tfl.nu/krhl

Replies (14) Good night (2711) Bad night (3941)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.

(1-201): View more from New Jersey

HOT DATE.

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(201): Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day. (1-201): HOT DATE. http://tfl.nu/4vki

Replies (11) Good night (3817) Bad night (1552)
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(301): View more from Maryland

Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.

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(301): Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward. http://tfl.nu/yset

Replies (16) Good night (4915) Bad night (1492)
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(413): View more from Massachusetts

im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.

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(413): im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone. http://tfl.nu/9w3d

Replies (8) Good night (3853) Bad night (923)
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(+61): View more from Australia

He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds

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(+61): He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds http://tfl.nu/yob4

Replies (8) Good night (1336) Bad night (2590)
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(520): View more from Arizona

He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..

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(520): He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car.. http://tfl.nu/pywi

Replies (14) Good night (2826) Bad night (1253)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.

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(608): All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college. http://tfl.nu/h1fv

Replies (0) Good night (1907) Bad night (865)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?

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(908): how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency? http://tfl.nu/6372

Replies (7) Good night (463) Bad night (1284)
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(480): View more from Arizona

I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.

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(480): I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified. http://tfl.nu/m5g1

Replies (2) Good night (417) Bad night (609)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.

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(202): Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head. http://tfl.nu/ntvr

Replies (3) Good night (861) Bad night (360)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.

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(405): In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win. http://tfl.nu/zkyh

Replies (4) Good night (704) Bad night (318)
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(778): View more from British Columbia

You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil

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(778): You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil http://tfl.nu/4q8x

Replies (0) Good night (223) Bad night (55)

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