I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
