it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
