I think im going to throw up on grandma
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
