DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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