That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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