Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
