Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
