The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
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We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
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I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I want to fling myself into the sun
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