so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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