Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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