You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
