You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
