There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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