Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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