we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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