How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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