kristin has been a bad kristin
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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