He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize
